8 (Gentle) Ways to Include Kids in a Funeral

A Wildflower Funeral Concepts Post Grief doesn't skip the young.

Children experience loss just as deeply as adults — but in different, sometimes harder-to-understand ways. That’s why including them in funerals and memorials can be powerful. Not only does it honor their bond with the person who passed, but it also gives them tools for processing grief in a healthy, supported way.

At Wildflower, we believe funerals should be inclusive, compassionate spaces — and that includes the smallest members of the family. Here are a few beautiful ways to involve children in the ceremony of saying goodbye.

1. Let Them Choose a Goodbye Gesture Have them write a letter, draw a picture, or place a small item (like a flower, toy, or shell) in the casket or with the urn. Even toddlers can participate in this sacred ritual.

2. Give Them a Job (Even a Small One) Let kids hand out flowers, pass tissues, read a short poem, or help carry a framed photo. Having a role gives them structure and makes them feel seen and important.

3. Make a Memorial Craft Table Set up a space where kids (and adults!) can color memory flags, decorate stones, or write notes to the person who passed. Creative expression gives grief a path.

4. Share the Truth (Lovingly) Use simple, honest language: “They died” instead of “went to sleep” or “passed away.” Children deserve clarity wrapped in gentleness. It helps build trust and reduces confusion.

5. Include Books or Stories Read a children’s book about death during the service or gathering. Titles like The Invisible String, When Dinosaurs Die, or The Rabbit Listened can open space for meaningful conversation.  Wildflower maintains a lending library of wonderful grief resources for both children and adults.

6. Create a Kid-Friendly Memory Ritual Release bubbles, ring chimes, light (supervised) candles, or plant a tree together. Rituals help kids understand that something important is happening — and that their presence matters.

7. Invite Them to Help Plan Ask them: “Is there anything you’d like to do to say goodbye?” You might be surprised by the quiet wisdom they carry — sometimes, it’s the simplest idea that becomes the most meaningful moment of the day.

8. Offer Permission to Feel Everything Let kids know it’s okay to cry. Or not cry. To ask questions. To feel confused. To laugh. Grief is full of contradictions, and children need room to feel it all, without shame.

Bonus Thought: Make sure there’s a safe adult just for them. Whether it’s a counselor, family friend, or Wildflower staff member, having someone whose job is to support their experience can be a lifeline.

Including children in funerals isn’t just possible — it’s powerful. It gives them language for grief, permission to feel, and connection to the community that surrounds them. We believe in making space for that, at every age.

If you’re navigating loss with kids, or planning ahead, we’re here to help. 💜 ABOUT WILDFLOWER FUNERAL CONCEPTS

Wildflower Funeral Concepts is a modern, eco-friendly funeral home in Ferndale, WA, serving Whatcom County and beyond. We specialize in green burial, aquamation, terramation (natural organic reduction), sustainable cremation, funeral pre-planning, veterans services, and grief support rooted in kindness and community. Whether you're seeking conscious end-of-life planning or a gentle hand during loss, Wildflower offers compassionate care — for every generation. *8 Gentle Ways To Include Kids in A Funeral