Right to Control Disposition: Who will be making your funeral arrangements after you’re gone?

Who will be making your funeral arrangements after you’re gone?

One of the most important things to know about funeral arrangements is also the most misunderstood: who makes your funeral arrangements after you pass?

When people share their thoughts on what kind of funeral arrangements they want, they usually aren’t thinking about the person(s) who will be carrying out those wishes. Knowing what kind of final arrangements you want for yourself is a great thing, but do you know who has the legal responsibility of making those arrangements for you when the time comes? The answer may not be as simple as you think.

In Washington State, the “right to control disposition” (RCW 68.50.160) determines who has the responsibility of making these crucial decisions. The first up on that list is the person who has passed. How is that possible? Anyone may sign an authorization for their chosen method of disposition and place it on file with the funeral home of their choice prior to their passing. It’s that simple. Another way to control your own disposition is by making prepaid funeral arrangements. Even if an authorization of disposition is not signed, the method chosen in the prearrangements must be followed without any “substantial changes”.

Another option is by assigning a “designated agent”. What this does is bypass the next of kin hierarchy and puts the power to choose who will oversee your final arrangements in your hands. Let’s put a pin in designated agent because the importance of it is best illustrated after explaining the hierarchy of next of kin.

If someone has not made a declaration prior to their death or assigned a designated agent, the hierarchy of next of kin must be followed. In a specific order as issued by the state of Washington, we as funeral directors must determine the closest tier of next of kin and the majority of that group must agree on a method of disposition and sign an authorization to that effect. That hierarchy is as follows:

i.     Surviving spouse or state registered domestic partner. (“Common Law Marriage” is not recognized by Washington State so a common law spouse would not qualify here.)

ii.      The majority of the surviving adult children

iii.      The surviving parents

iv.      The majority of surviving siblings

v.       A court appointed guardian

In some cases, this can pose a challenge. Let’s talk about some examples and let’s assume there are no pre-authorizations or prearrangements in place:

·      Sally passed away and was separated from her husband for 15 years. In fact, she hadn’t even spoken with him in those 15 years. They had been meaning to file for divorce but due to their estrangement, they never got around to filing the necessary documents. Sally had a partner for the last 8 years of her life who loved and cared for her deeply. Sally’s estranged husband is the person who is legally authorized to choose what type of disposition Sally will have.

·      Steve was unmarried and never had any children. Both of his parents passed away and he has 3 siblings, 2 of which he was estranged from due to differences in opinions of faith. He told his childhood buddy (who was more like a brother to Steve) several times over the years that he wished to be terramated but never put anything into writing. The majority of Steve’s siblings wish for him to have a traditional burial in their faith’s tradition. Because they are in the majority, Steve’s estranged siblings are the party legally authorized to make this decision.

·      Sage is estranged from their entire biological family because their family refused to honor how they identified themselves. Sage had an entire chosen family who surrounded them with love and support. When Sage passes, their parents have the authorization to make all choices including using Sage’s dead name on all documents, printed materials and grave marker.

These are all extremely difficult circumstances and situations we have seen multiple times. It is heartbreaking for loved ones, and it is heartbreaking for us, but our licenses bind us to the laws of the state. This is why we educate and encourage people to make and record their own choices prior to their passing.

Let’s go back to the “designated agent” discussion. Naming a designated agent means you are placing your trust in someone to make choices for your final arrangements. Whether you have a preference on method of disposition or not, you can name someone to make that choice for you after you pass, bypassing the hierarchy of next of kin. That means Sally could have appointed her new partner, Steve could have named his childhood buddy, and Sage could have picked a trusted member of their chosen family.

Notice that the term power of attorney does not appear anywhere in this discussion. That’s because the power of attorney designation is only valid when someone is living. Once someone passes, their power of attorney (if they have one) is voided. This is a common misconception that can cause a lot of stress.

Right to control disposition is among the most crucial information when final arrangements are being considered and yet it is rarely discussed. We believe that everyone should have this information when contemplating their own final arrangements. We understand this is a complex topic and we are here to talk you through it. It is our pleasure to help give you the tools to make your own wishes known. We believe in educating our community on topics that are difficult to talk about so you can feel empowered to make the choices that are the best for you.

If you would like to talk more about Designated Agents, and who has the right to control your disposition, we would love to chat with you. If you would like to authorize your own disposition choices, give us a call, (360) 526-7829. And if you want to get a Designated Agent established, here is a link to the form and more information.

https://www.wildflowerfuneralconcepts.com/_files/ugd/8d8bf3_535d27b6043b44cc98c8fb5c4a9014e2.pdf

ABOUT WILDFLOWER FUNERAL CONCEPTS

Wildflower Funeral Concepts is a modern, eco-friendly funeral home located in the heart of Ferndale, Washington — proudly serving families across Whatcom County and beyond. We specialize in green burial, aquamation, terramation (natural organic reduction), and sustainable cremation services. Whether you’re seeking funeral pre-planning, compassionate grief support, or thoughtful guidance through loss, we’re here with kindness, integrity, and a deep sense of community. From veterans services to natural farewells rooted in love and ecology, Wildflower offers a new way to honor life — gently, honestly, and consciously.

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